It's difficult to believe that yet another friend of mine with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy is gone. Times like this make me wonder why I'm still here. Don't get me wrong, I'm extremely grateful to be here, but it seems that those with so much to offer are taken away from us far too soon. I'm thankful to be a survivor so far, but it's so painful to see this merciless disease strike down friend after friend. Sometimes it's almost too much to bare, but I go on because I know that's what my fallen comrades want me to do.
I wish I had known Cody better, but I'm happy that I did know him. We would talk occasionally on Yahoo Instant Messenger. The conversations were never very long, but they were always meaningful. I could tell that he genuinely cared. He had been helping me try to resolve a wound care issue that I have been having for some time now. He had the same issue and we talked about what approaches we were taking to care for our wounds. He was extremely helpful and knowledgeable about such things.
We had played World of Warcraft together a few times, which I really enjoyed. I will definitely miss our conversations and game time. My deepest and most heartfelt condolences to go out to his family and all of his friends and acquaintances.
I won't say goodbye because I know that we will meet again one day. May you forever rest in peace my friend.
After not posting anything in about six months, I decided to delete my previous blog and start anew. I kept the same URL and blog title, but everything else is brand spanking new. Why the drastic change you might ask? I was reading some of my old posts and saw a lot of negativity in them, which I really didn't like. Yes, they were real events that occurred, but I was falling into a pattern of focusing on the bad things, especially the breakup with my girlfriend, which is the past and needs to be buried.
Another factor in my decision to start over with my blog was the fact that others I know who also blog are living in far better environments than myself and are actually making something of their lives. I want to be somebody making something of his life instead of wasting away in a rehab hospital. I have to face my fears and overcome them if I truly wish to have a chance at a somewhat normal life beyond the comforting walls of this institution that has been my home since August 14, 1990.
I took a major step in making a new beginning for myself by a finally speaking to my pulmonary doctor about seeing a ENT specialist to find out if there is something that can be done about the air leakage around my trach stoma. I'm trying to remain positive that he/she will be able to find a solution to this long time problem. Although it's only a consult, I have been having some anxiety about it. I actually went as far as trying to change the time of the appointment because it's scheduled at 8am, which is very early for me and means that the daily routine that I've become accustomed to will be shaken up a bit. This is something that I'll need to get used to I really want a shot at living in the community one day.
Everyone in the world is faced with inconveniences and they manage just fine. Now it's time for me to face some inconveniences of my own and join the rest of the world.